The Walking Dead: Review Episode 5, "Wildfire"

WILDTIRED

(Or, Pardon Me But I'm Feeeling A Little Bitchy)

By Dread Sockett

So here we are at the next to last episode of Season One of TWD. For this review I want to attempt a less is more attitude and knock this out in as few words as possible (quit laughing over there little ms. editor.) (Editor’s note: bwhahahahahaha.). Think of this attempt like the show itself, where 40+ minutes of actual viewing time needs to communicate an hour and a half of material. Now, I won't lie, this is kind of a test since I've heard that my reviews are far too long. Whatever. I'm feeling bitchy....so let's see what we come up with shall we?

The big news this week was that FRANK DARABONT has canned his writers. To that I say good. It's about time. The show’s writing has been on a swift landslide into mediocrity. Of course it's wonderful to have a weekly zombie show, but what good is it if it's filled with unlikable "survivors"  and a time frame that is woefully short to get around to the "they're really good people once we get to know them"? I say good riddance and good luck to DARABONT in this bold move. I certainly won't argue if it means some of this DAWSON'S CREEK shit gets ditched. Can it go either way? Of course. I'll take my chances.

Episode 5 (“Wildfire”) was probably my new favorite episode and finally, the characterization gets ramped up even more. In hindsight, we look at how poorly developed the characters have been that it almost works against itself now that there's some emotional moments going on. Many characters weren't all that likable to begin with so now FINALLY we have reason to care and we must force ourselves because that's what we're supposed to do. In the case of Andrea sitting with her sister for what? 12 hours? That was touching and all, but come on, that was beginning to get soapy; I mean I was starting to break out the wash cloth and lather up. I understand where they were trying to go, but it began to feel forced being so drawn out. It stopped being touching and became unhinged. It also did not help in the least that she pulls a gun on Rick (for a second time), which undermines the sentiment of the moment.  Andrea is fucking nuts, dead sister or not. Get that bitch some Ativan STAT next trip into town.

And just when I thought the group was getting some serious, convincing, personality time so that I didn't feel the need to paint them as a bunch of poor-desperate-white-collars-on-the-verge-of-nervous-breakdown, they go and have Jim's outing by Jaque just get out of control. I mean shit, instead of acting with compassion that one of her compatriots is mortally wounded and OBVIOUSLY (KEYWORD) not about to turn in a second, they have her go batshit crazy. Why'd they finally give her screen time and do that to her? I hate the bitch now. Then of course, she yo-yo's and becomes Florence Nightingale in the van. TOUCHING HIM AND SHIT. Remember folks, she had springs in her ass when he was clearly ambulatory and lucid, yet when he's obviously succumbing to infection she's right up against his face? She kisses him for fuck’s sake! THE HELL? Did I miss something in Zed 101? I guess she really was a government worker back in the day with them two-faced social skills (no offense to government workers who do actually have class). And I kinda liked her too.

THANK GAWD DALE IS STILL AROUND. The only person I truly like (read: that has fucking brains worth a shit in this group).

Rick's meltdown was good...though why did it take until now to show he had more than one emotion inside? Was he just too tired from chasing that wandering accent? Everyone else too, had a good show of emotions that I wish was apparent when the shows first started and we were getting to know them. I would've thought much better of the show and the actors than I have. I mean jeezuz, I've been more interested in Darryl and Merle all this time and that's a damn problem. But if yer gonna stick me with assholes then I'll at least stick with the ones with actual survival skills. OVERALL: A good solid episode that should have been the standard from the start.

Frank Darabont, work some magic with the new guys. When I saw you were willing to shoot the little girl zombie and take the horse down (despite riling all the PC bitches) I couldn't wait to see what you were gonna hit us with. What followed was a pale imitation of that fuck-it stance. Bring on Seasons 2's new writers. IT'S A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, START FUCKING SOME SHIT UP!

And I lied...I ran my mouth.