Saturday, October 27, 2012

Review: Nazis at the Center of the Earth (DVD)

By DeadVida

As a group, the Rigor Mortis staff can bicker and geek-slam like maniacal kittens fighting over a cricket in the house. Dread rolls his eyes until we fear seizure, Spinal Cord raises her razorblade-like eyebrow, and Colin clears his throat with enraged dignity. But a magical thing happened – we agreed on something, and that something is Nazis at the Center of the Earth. It spread among us like a virus and we all agreed this was an amazing moment in cinema.

Personally, I went into it thinking, “This sounds ridiculous and Jake Busey is in it, hit play!

Jake Busey is Dr. Adrian Reistad and that right there tells you that suspension of disbelief isn’t all that important to the filmmakers. The film opens with nubile young scientists encountering foul play and going missing at a base in Antarctica. A search party is formed in accordance with Horror Movie Plot Convention #367.

I feel the need to point out that if you can’t pretend to be cold while you are in “Antarctica,” you should probably consider another career. A five dollar hooker can fake it better. Then again, maybe all that hot, young blood keeps them warm.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a horror movie in possession of a good gimmick, must be in want of a plot. However, this movie has a gimmick that really makes the need for a plot irrelevant. Another universal truth is that Nazis look awesome in snow. These aren’t Nazi zombies, but they would totally go out for a beer with the guys from Dead Snow.

And so, our heroes victims find themselves in a secret underground base, complete with an entirely different climate – all the better for the actors who can’t be bothered to pretend to be cold.

There is expected and unexpected gore and requisite evil Nazi scientist. The film’s genius becomes apparent once the decaying/regenerating Nazis arrive, lead by Dr. Josef Mengele, and the WTF moments build into a crescendo that takes suspension of disbelief by the throat and leaves it for dead. I forgot Jake Busey was even in the movie. That’s right, the what-the-fuckary was so great that a Busey was cast into shadow.

Beyond that are spoilers and I’m not going to ruin the fun for anyone - for a change the title actually under-promises and over-delivers.

Rent it today. If you live in Chicago rent it from Brainstorm Comics and tell them Colin Cthulhu sent you.