Rigor Mortis

Big Ass Monstah Attack

2012-01-02T11:18:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the silence, we've been busy working on the new project. Here's a taste.

Review: Roads Less Traveled, by C. Dulaney (review by DeadVida)

2011-11-05T05:11:00.000-07:00

Roads Less Traveled: The Plan

C. Dulaney

Paperback: 236 pages

Publisher: Permuted Press

Pub Date: August 24, 2011

ISBN: 9781934861998

This novel is a great example of the whole being greater than the sum of the parts. While my suspension of disbelief never fully engaged, my bullshit-o-meter remained relatively silent. I found myself engaged in the story and tore through the book in two sittings.

I could nitpick – too many 20-something characters, first-base sexual tension, omniscient characters – but that seems unfair because this is actually an entertaining zombie novel that takes some unexpected chances. It marriages, at once, brutality and common sense with a smidge of touchy-feely without venturing over to the land of pointless nihilism. And the dog lives.

The outbreak occurs and Ben, a college student in Pennsylvania, contacts Kasey, an online friend living in West Virginia. They had a plan for this and begin to enact it. As one would expect in a world now teeming with the living dead, nothing goes as planned. Instead of just Ben, Kasey, who is anti-social and dealing with unspecified anxiety, welcomes a group of strangers into her home. She lives in a remote farm house nestled against the Monongahela National Forest that is a survivalist’s dream home.

Conflict, of course, arrives with her visitors – internally and externally; dead and living. The characters are both stupid and too smart, but the mixture keeps this from tilting either way. Dulaney attempts to create complex characters and some are better realized than others. For comparison’s sake, Brian Keene often creates one-dimensional characters, but Colson Whitehead’s Mark Spitz was fully three-dimensional. Dulaney’s characters hover around the 2-2.5 mark. There was more character back story that was alluded to, but perhaps cut. I was left with a few questions. Or maybe she just isn’t done introducing us to her characters. I’m curious to see if they go fully 3-D with the next installment.

This may seem like an odd or disparaging comment, but this would also be good for a YA audience. I mean this in a complimentary way. The main character is a strong, self-sufficient young woman; someone who I think would resonate with either gender. The sex is implied behind closed doors. There is strong language, but nothing they haven’t heard before. There is violence, but it has repercussions. And no sparkly vampires.

Overall, rollicking bit of zombie lit with plenty of action, blood, and coffee. And yes, I am heartened by an apocalyptic world where coffee still exists.

Review: Zone One, by Colson Whitehead (Review by DeadVida)

2011-10-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

Zone One

By Colson Whitehead

Hardcover: 272 pages

Publisher: Doubleday

Pub date: October 18, 2011

ISBN-13: 978-0385528078

In many respects, Zone One is a quintessential literary plague novel about Manhattan – complete with satire and allegories – where zombies happen to be the plague. It is obvious Whitehead is a lover of words. He also loves to evoke imagery, such as the omnipresent ash that filters down from the sky and torments the protagonist, Mark Spitz. No, not that Mark Spitz. Most of the survivors are reborn into new names and personas in the new world.

Mark Spitz is the kind of average guy who lives in his parents’ basement on Long Island, yearning for a “real” life in The City. He is the kind of guy who unwittingly spends his last hours of normalcy indulging in Atlantic City debauchery. He is nothing special. In the time before the virus he is the kind of guy who does just enough to skate by – no real passions or ambitions. He goes through the motions. However, in the post-plague world, his self-preservation instincts are something special. He is almost an inverse of the “skels.” Once the world goes dead, he comes alive.

We spend a lot of time inside Mark’s head, which at times can be disorienting. Through him, and his fellow survivors, we learn how they came to be part of the effort to reclaim Manhattan. They are working on an area near Canal St., known as Zone One. They have plans to reclaim Zones Two and Three, further up the island. We also learn about the provisional government and how even in the apocalypse corporations are dictating policy. The sections regarding the government and rebranding of things like post-traumatic stress disorder are keen satire.

This is a good section regarding planning for the future, “…Mark Spitz’s hosts began to air their post-plague plans and schemes. This was a rare pastime, at least in his vicinity, not easily indulged in, and Mark Spitz was surprised to hear perfectly (relatively) sane people partake. More than a jinx on deliverance, this was straddling reality with a pillow while it was sleeping and pressing down while it bucked and kicked.”

As I said, this is also a novel about Manhattan and this exemplifies that, “Omega wormed through the intestines of a starter-apartment rental tower, and floor after floor of beige carpet, noise-permeable walls, and fingerprint-smudged doorways soured his disposition. His friends in the city lived in buildings like that, and the hallway always reeked of the dead ambitions decomping behind the doors.”

I can see where zombie fans who want the plot to be spoon-fed with a heaping side of action will get frustrated. They will also probably need a dictionary on hand to even read the book. Fuck ‘em. If you like to think and you like zombies, give this a shot.

Overall, this is a great additional to the cannon of zombie lore. I hope Whitehead’s success encourages more writers of quality fiction to also give genre fiction a try. I’m tired of reading crappy zombies stories and you should be too.

ZOMBIE HAIKU from Exploitation Retrospect

2011-10-18T05:06:00.000-07:00

This year, Exploitation Retrospect has joined forces with Louis Fowler of Damaged Hearing/Damaged Viewing and Deadvida of Rigor Mortis to bring you the 2011 Zombie Haiku Contest.

E-mail ER your best, most creative, funniest, or grossest zombie-centric haiku by 11:59 PM Eastern on Thursday, October 27, 2011. Our panel of judges will pick their favorite and the winner will be announced on Monday, October 31, 2011. (And let's not get all nit-picky about haiku. For the purpose of this contest we're defining a haiku as a three-line poem with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 in the third.)

The winning entry will receive a Zombie Prize Package including:

AUTOMATON TRANSFUSION/BLACK SHEEP Double Feature DVD
BIO-DEAD DVD
STRIPPERLAND DVD
Paul is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion by Alan Goldsher
The Zombie Factory: 27 Tales of Bizarre Comix Madness from Beyond the Tomb!
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Zombie Jim by Mark Twain and W. Bill Czolgosz
RIGOR MORTIS #4
ER: Revenge of Print Edition 2011 (upon publication)
AMC's The Walking Dead t-shirt
Autographed vinyl single of outlaw country singer Christopher Murdock's song "Fear the Dead"

You can enter as often as you like but only one entry per e-mail. Entrants must be 18 years of age or older. Each entry must include haiku and e-mail address where we can contact you if you are the winner.

For more go to: http://dantenet.com/er/contest/index.html

Review from Monster Magazine World

2011-10-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

Well, this just warms our cold, dead hearts:

"After taking a look at the first few issues of RIGOR MORTIS, it is quite evident that this talented group of creators will be raising the zombie freak flag for some time to come."

"What immediately struck me when I first looked at the mags was their resemblance to the underground comix of the 1960’s. Mind you, that was only in appearance – the content is wholly contemporary, albeit with just a hint of nostalgia for the good ol’ zombie days."

http://monstermagazineworld.blogspot.com/2011/10/rigor-mortis-read-it-before-they-come.html

Review: Autumn, by David Moody (review by DeadVida)

2011-10-10T17:44:00.000-07:00

Autumn

By David Moody

Paperback: 320 pages

Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

Pub Date: October 26, 2010

ISBN-13: 978-0312569983

I had almost picked Autumn up a few times, but something else always grabbed my attention first. I finally bought a copy and was pleasantly surprised. Unlike standard American zombie fare Moody doesn’t rely on nihilism, incessant action, scientific “fact” to explain the plot, or excessive gore. No, instead, he presents an apocalyptic world that has a building, slow creep that gets under your skin. The instinctive fear of the dead is enough…and then Moody begins ratcheting the terror in an atmospheric way.

Without warning, a virus strikes and within minutes billions are dead. In a fictitious city in the north of England, a handful of survivors congregate in a community center. They are grieving and damaged from what they have seen and who they have lost. They are cold, uncomfortable, and confused. Days go by like this. This was a great and effective set up because without a lot of details about the characters it was easy to empathize with their reactions. What do you do after 99% of the world dies before your very eyes? Fear and non-action are dangerous.

And then some the dead started rising. Everyone is ready to freak out. “Aggggggggggg, zombies!”, right? Well, yes, but they simply stumble around and didn’t react to the survivors. Again, very creepy, but not terrifying. Moody has gone back to our base fears about the dead. The waiting for something to happen begins to drive some of the survivors to the edge. Some want to barricade the doors and never go outside again, no matter the short-sightedness of that plan, and others want to find more suitable accommodations.

Ultimately, three people leave the community center: Michael, who worked in corporate computers, Emma, a nursing student, and Carl, a mechanic who has lost his partner and young daughter. They have no special skills and their personalities feel genuine. They are just people – annoying at times, showing signs of PTSD, and struggling in the new world. After much driving and bickering, and as a trio they do bicker, they arrive at a farm in the middle of nowhere.

They attempt to make it defendable and stock up on provisions from nearby villages. Instead of ever making this sound idyllic, Moody constantly reminds us of the stress these people are under simply waiting for something to happen. And, of course, eventually it does.

Overall the book is very light on action, but very heavy on tension. The set up and build was very effective and as soon as I was done with the book I ordered the second in the series and pre-ordered the next ones.

Interestingly, this book started as something the author posted on the web and gave away for free. I think that as a genre, horror is definitely benefiting from the way the web and self-publishing is allowing quality work rise to the top and discovered by fans. We always want more fresh blood, right?

Z.E.D.: Zombies! Emergencies! Disasters! - SAMPLER PDF

2011-08-24T05:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends of Rigor Mortis,

Battling the apocalypse and zombie hordes is a never-ending challenge. We discovered a manuscript that we had to publish, as a matter of public interest. It will address some of those survival issues other guides tend to omit - like DIY cannibalism, skin care tips, and the realities of someone going from couch to bad-assed zombie killer (note: Dorito-breath does not deter zombies, just girls). In addition to all these handy tips that may save your life (or make you want to take it), is a recently unearthed (literally) comic starring horror comic legends. They will show you how to DO the apocalypse like it is fashion week.

You can download the issue with the following options:

Higher res PDF:
http://www.4shared.com/document/Gh2x0vns/ZED_PDF_Sampler.html

Higher res image files:
http://www.4shared.com/file/kTEn4hbZ/ZED_ALL_COMIX_SURVIVAL_KIT_160.html

Low res PDF:
http://www.leekinginc.com/rigormortis/ZEDSampler.pdf

Or view the individual images at:
http://www.leekinginc.com/rigormortis/ZEDart.htm

We are still conjuring the print edition and will let you know when it is ready to be released upon the world.

For now, laugh, cry, and cringe as we present snippets from Z.E.D.: Zombies! Emergencies! Disasters!

Blasphemously,

The Editors of Rigor Mortis

Review: Deadline, Newsflesh, Book 2 (Review by DeadVida)

2011-08-14T17:01:00.000-07:00

Review: Deadline (Newsflesh, Book 2)

By Mira Grant

Orbit Press

ISBN: 9780316081061

SPOILER ALERT – If you haven’t read Feed (Newsflesh, Book 1), stop! Go read Feed now…

Done? Good.

Taking your narrator and killing her is damned risky. Mira Grant did this in Feed, leaving her readers to wonder how she would approach the telling of the next book in the Newsflesh trilogy, Deadline. The answer is much better than the television standby of having her twin show up. Instead, Grant made the narrator’s brother, Shaun, “a crazy person” who is able to talk to his dead sister, George. This could have been trite, but Grant managed to pull it off. In a sense there are two concurrent narrators, but this is more Shaun’s story.

Where Feed was more a political zombie thriller, Deadline is a medical zombie thriller. A researcher with the CDC, first introduced in Feed, arrives at the After the End Times media compound in Oakland. Within minutes there is an outbreak and half of the city is blown-up. Shaun and what is now left of his crew escape, taking the CDC researcher with them. As the initial stages of a global conspiracy are revealed, Shaun shakes off the grief that has been paralyzing him and begins seeking revenge for his sister’s death. As a blogger and reporter he does this the only way he knows how – by exposing the truth.

The series is set a generation after the initial outbreak, so existence is highly controlled. Everyone is paranoid, tested and tracked, because everyone is infected with the Kellis-Amberlee virus. Some even have secondary reservoir conditions, with concentrations of the virus infecting specific systems. It is these reservoir conditions and some statistical improbabilities that begin uncovering the larger conspiracy first revealed in Feed.

Grant manages to describe a large amount of technical and medical information without losing lay readers. She blends the actual, with the probable and improbable in such a way that the reader is left guessing what is truth or fiction.

At 608 pages this is actually a compulsive read. The worst part in the book is the cliffhanger ending and knowledge that I will have to wait a year to find out what happens to Shaun and the rest of the After the End Times crew in the final book, Deadline. On the bright side, Orbit has begun releasing short stories related to the universe Mira Grant has created. Highly recommended!

For the true fan check out http://www.thefeedbook.com and the novella, Countdown, http://www.orbitshortfiction.com/2011/08/countdown-a-newsflesh-novella.

Review: Rebirth, by Sophie Littlefield (review by DeadVida)

2011-07-31T03:29:00.000-07:00

Rebirth

By Sophie Littlefield

Books set in post-apocalyptic worlds tend not to offer shreds of hope. In fact, that seems to be something of an antithesis in modern zombie lit. The characters are often as lifeless as the doomed planet. The world Sophie Littlefield created in Aftertime, and now revisits in Rebirth and Survivors, a short story bridge between the two books, is a bit different. Instead, she gives us a compelling protagonist, Cass Dollar, who effectively shows the parallels between the once dead landscape and the once deadened woman, both of whom struggle for renewal.

Littlefield’s earth was destroyed by bio-warfare attacks. Cass suffered at her step-father’s hands and then her own. Yet we see each fighting toward life – be it a sprig breaking ground again or the broken pieces in Cass fighting against her innate self-destruction.

Survivors, a short story, details the arrival and integration of Feo, a young orphan, into the encampment run by Dor and introduced in Rebirth. It was made available pre-pub as a free ebook and is available now from the publisher or ebook vendors.

Rebirth picks up a few months after Aftertime. Cass, Smoke, and Ruthie, Cass’s young daughter, have finally settled into a family life. Cass’s fragile sense of trust is broken when Smoke volunteers for a revenge mission. As a reaction to Smoke’s abandonment, Cass volunteers for a mission of her own to rescue Sammi, Dor’s daughter. Cass uses her immunity to the plant responsible for creating the zombies, or Beaters as they are called here, to gain entrance to the compound holding Sammi. In Littlefield’s world, the only thing more dangerous than zombies is fellow survivors.

Things I love about this series:

The end of days was geo-political and came about because of plant-based bio-terrorism. The US faced famine and the government created a genetically modified plant, kaysev, which is nutrient-rich and can grow wild. Beaters are not the walking dead, but people affected by a variant of the plant. This is a clever and original take. In a sense, the “zombies” are secondary to whatever happened in the world that led to the famine, but in this new world this all seems like ancient history.

Theory and rumors are accepted and people just get on with living in hard times. I enjoy that there is a construct of backstory that is never entirely explained. The viewpoints of the characters matter over the omniscience of the narration.

The survivor groups are varied and fluid. The main encampment is more a shanty town, rather than the usual claustrophobic clusterfuck of stereotyped survivors in a fortified compound.

The main character, Cass Dollar, is a woman and mother. Cass is weak and strong at the same time. She fights a three-front war against Beaters, malicious survivors, and herself. She constantly makes questionable decisions, but Littlefield does a good job showing the character’s faulty logic without diminishing or over-explaining her.

Rebirth manages the delicate balance of real character development, a believable universe, action sequences, and genuinely creepy scenes (instead of easy gore).

I’m already looking forward to the next book and want to find out what's next for Cass and her companions as they continue to attempt to survive, adapt and recover from life Before and in the Aftertime.

New Rigor Mortis Art Gallery

2011-07-09T17:39:00.000-07:00

After we finished Rigor Mortis #4, we realized how little of the art was online. We decided to create an art gallery for Rigor Mortis. Often there are extra pieces that are not used or are modified for the layout. We've decided to include those here as well. We’ve also decided to include art that was deemed to scandalous to include in the print edition. While photocopy has been our medium of choice, there is degradation of the artwork. Please take a look and see for yourself what a true master of the cross-hatch can create with a little ink, Bristol board, and fear for his life.

Review of Rigor Mortis from BuyZombie.com

2011-06-29T17:08:00.000-07:00

We received a review from Paul Skow with Buy Zombie that made our day.

"There is an obnoxiously empty hole when it comes to zombie magazines, and RIGOR MORTIS unknowingly fills that space. RIGOR MORTIS is, in my opinion, all things a zine should be: original, clever, creative, personal, cheaply priced, funny, and smart. In my fairly limited experience with zines – I could count the number I’ve read on both hands – it seems that RIGOR MORTIS sets the bar pretty high. From the original artwork, to the in-depth reviews, to the obvious love of the genre, it seems to ooze quality....

Bojan’s original art really does elevate RIGOR MORTIS into a nearly untouchable zine. From collages of Nazi zombies, to Nosferatu, to gore-filled intestine eating, Bojan is a perfect match for the three writers...

You can obviously see my unadulterated praise for this publication, and I give it 10 out of 10 nervous breakdowns."

http://www.buyzombie.com/2011/06/28/reviews-of-zombie-related-things/rigor-mortis-magazine-review/

And, Paul, just so you know, we are working on that long-winded thing. You should see the raw drafts!

Review: The Horde (La horde) 2009 (Review by DeadVida)

2011-05-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

The Horde (La horde) 2009

The Horde is like Reservoir Dogs meets Dawn of the Dead (2004), but in French with subtitles. It starts off with a gang of crooked cops seeking revenge for the killing of one of their own by an international gang of ruthless thugs. However, when they are quickly outnumbered by the horde of undead, the enemy of my enemy becomes my friend and all that. This is probably for the best because they are all so unlikable that it is unlikely the audience is going to side with either group. The violence displayed, by both the living and the unloving is brutal and atavistic. The color pallet is rich in gore, grime, and decay.

Four off-duty (we assume) cops, three male and one female, arrive at a high-rise squat in what appears to be the outskirts of Paris. Almost immediately things start going wrong and the in-fighting begins. They are there to rescue one of their own and seek revenge for the murder of another colleague. They are immediately taken captive by a multi-national consortium of thugs, lead by two Nigerian brothers. This results in two casualties and a whole lot of screaming. Then dead people start doing things dead people aren’t supposed to do and there is a whole lot more screaming.

The tenement building is an effective location and the director and cinematographer make good use of the darkness, cramped corridors, bouncing sounds, and overall feeling that hope has long been abandoned here. Eventually the foes make an uneasy truce in an effort to escape the dead gathering outside the building looking for a hot lunch. As they descend from the top floors, they encounter other residents of the building, both living and dead. The atmosphere is always tense and claustrophobic. The gore and violence are prolific, but in a few scenes it is taken to an almost artistic composition. It is slightly jarring in that the shots become more about creating an iconic image without regard to things like continuity (blood, what blood?). The final scene, as they burst into the relative light of a freshly apocalyptic world, makes you think, “Ah, I can finally breathe again!” And then being one of them mind-fuck-European-type movies you gotta suck that breath all back in again.

Things this movie taught me – there is apparently a held believe that simply being Nigerian will protect you from zombies. The US does not have the market on crazy Vietnam vets. Zombies hath no fury like an adulterous woman left knocked up and scorned.

Solid zombie fare with fast zombies, lots of gore, and great atmosphere.

Excerpt from Rigor Mortis #4 - Mother, Jugs, and Peens: Great Moments of Gratuitous (and Confusing) Nudity in Horror

2011-05-14T04:20:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from Rigor Mortis #4
Mother, Jugs, and Peens:
Great Moments of Gratuitous (and Confusing) Nudity in Horror

We here at RM HQ are really just 13-year-olds who can drive cars and buy cigarettes. As proof of our unrelenting puberty we are now going to talk about genitals. That’s right, a whole article devoted to jugs, willies, knockers, boners, melons, weeners, chesticles, peters, and nips. Collectively, we are able to evaluate the subject matter rather impartially. No, really. We know the difference between nudity as art and nudity as sloppy script filler. As a group we are male and female; gay, straight, bi, and tri; and like it vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. We have a gender trespasser who is the vegan lovechild of Xena and Quentin Crisp, a gay man who will happily play with a nice pair of knockers, someone who would do Godzilla with the right lighting, as well as an otherwise straight man who would be no more if Johnny Depp showed up on his doorstep. We’ve given it away and made people pay (one way or another). Some of us (Dread, perhaps) would fuck Clint Howard (but with your dick). Hell, Dread would do you for a pack of cigarettes. Make it two packs and gas money and he’ll even leave you the key to the handcuffs and feed the cat on the way out. We’ve been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. That said, we are still geeks sitting at home on a Saturday night snickering about titties and johnsons, so make of that what you will. So grab your handi-wipes and let’s get on with the show…

CEMETERY MAN
    In CEMETERY MAN, observant viewers (Hell, even lazyass viewers) saw some of Rupert Everett’s first surgical “enhancements” (and we don’t mean his purported facelifts). Cemetery Man watchers get an eye-full of ol’ Rupe’s dangly, dingly balls of delight (well, that depends on who you ask). For the low cost of a rental you too can get, oooh, about four inches from it yourself.
    For chicks who prefer dicks, lusting after the brooding, hunky actor was only fair; usually female Horror fans are visually assaulted by inexplicable boobs. Unfortunately, chicks still won’t get a total break here since ol’ Rupe tends to prefer burritos to tacos. But hey, it’s horror and a zombie film no less, so Grrls gotsta take what they can, right? Junk is junk, no matter where ya put yer trunk.

ZOMBI 2
    Ask any ZOMBI 2 fan what the best scene is and, no doubt, they’ll tell you, “Duuude, that zombie vs. shark scene is, like, totally awesome!” See, what they won’t admit is the real reason they are watching is not because of some terribly choreographed “battle,” but to watch Auretta Gay get ready for her big peril scene. Right before the famed fight, that perv Fulci lovingly framed and richly composed angles of Auretta Gay strapping on her scuba gear, clad in only a g-string, camera, and her ta-tas, She then dives in, swimming before the camera thrusting...her fins...blowing...lotsa bubbles...and opening herself up...to a lot of trouble. You get the idea. It’s like soft porn, just with a zombie vs. shark framing device.
    No longer will the curious wonder where exactly those scuba straps go when they disappear between the legs of a woman, for all has been answered. Now, we at RM agree that a fresh pair of jablonskies never hurt nobody and we’re all for their loving (and semi-realistic) depiction onscreen. But let’s call a duck a duck, and say that shark fight is only sloppy seconds to Auretta Gay gearing up at 0:31:33. Not that any of us actually checked the DVD, we just heard this was maybe where it was. Scuze me...we have a bad-assed shark fight to wank...err...watch.
28 DAYS LATER
    Director Danny Boyle penetrated...deep...inside the insecure sensibilities of some fanboys when not only did he bust out with the running-and-they’re-not-even-really-zombies to confound our Zed academics, but then bam, he took Str8t male fears of the willy-next-door to the next level. Yes, there was A WHOLE, NAKED ADULT MAN WITH HIS DING DONG OUT IN FULL PEENAGE VIEWAGE!!! OMG! Not just a quick flash, Hell, not even a pair of boobies to soften the 6” blow, but a WHOLE, NAKED MALE BODY FRONT AND CENTER.
    Z connoisseurs who thought they were being all, like, daring and European watching CEMETERY MAN’s wank attack went into Grand Mal seizures (requiring heavy metal therapy) when Boyle presented what amounted to BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (well, without the horses and actual sex). It was a junk assault of an unprecedented scale. Not content with merely serving up La Tamale Murphy, Boyle made sure that the scenes of said protuberances were essential to the story so the poh thangs had to stare down that one-eyed monster. Oh, the humanity!

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
    Remember when you were a little kid and your sister used to play with her Barbies and they’d be all like all nekkid and she was too little and uncoordinated to put their clothes back on? She’d still dance them around and put them in all kinds of acrobatic poses. You would think to yourself, “I wonder if a real woman looks like or could do that? Like a real woman with boobies and stuff?” Still not sure what stuff even was.
    And you’d (remember this is about you) keep this dirty secret in your head until your friend Nikolas showed you “discreetly torn pages” from his dad’s secret porno stash. The pages were crumpled in his pocket and the guys would gather all giggly until that old biddy teacher came to see what you heathens were up to. WHAT? This never happened to you? Uhm...me neither...we just uh...heard about these things.
    See how distracting that damned stuff is?? Where were we? Okay, it is years later and some of you are still wondering what a real woman looks like. But no worries, peeps, Dan O’Bannon, director of Return of the Living Dead, put not only a nekkid chick in his film, but a real, grown woman with real grown woman breskies. Furthermore, he saw fit to pay homage to that Barbie look you swear holds no part in your early sexual development. Though come to think of it, she looks a lot like the Barbie your sister gave a haircut to and then colored on with her markers, but whatever, we’d be shaving...umm…splitting hairs at this point to fuss. So, Fanboys, put down yer Mountain Dew cans cuz we think ya’ll need to stand at attention and give Mr. O’Bannon a hand (if you can spare one) for giving Horror cinema one of the more superfluous “anatomy” scenes around.
    Think we’re just being a meenie-weenies? Pretend that was a dude strolling through the fog looking like he just got back from Brazil. Better yet, imagine him dancing on that slab. Yep, thought so. Gratuitous cooch-meter has officially exploded and awaits replacement.

ALIEN
    Now, first thing you should know is that we worship Ridley Scott’s ALIEN. Coincidentally (or not), Dan O’Bannon was also part of that team, so there’s our other flimsy excuse for including this. That said, we do hafta call attention to Scott’s remarkable POV frame composition during the climax of the movie. You know the one – where we get to see Ripley squeeze into her spacesuit in her barely there panties. We’re all down for saucy compositions, but considering the artisans involved in this film, you really wanna tell me that was the best angle they could shoot from?? The best angle that had shit to do with the rest of the movie. We guess in space no one can hear you masturbating in the bushes. Sure, with the ALIEN’s tongue extension scene, we’re supposed to get there’s sexual-bestial-alienial-something happening, but most folks ain’t looking for sub-text that deep. Was this supposed to prove that Jonesy wasn’t the only kitty on board?

PLANET TERROR
    We’ve never understood why the male members of the audiences get their tighty-whities in a bunch when some dude goes tripod onscreen. Like, damn, ya’ll do have one, right? You have seen it before??? It does look remotely like the one onscreen, right? And it won’t, like, you know, jump off the screen and attack you. You know that, right? So what’s the fuss?
    Now, you want to have a real reason to squirm over wanton, nasty tubular man-things, we give you PLANET TERROR.
    Remember the scene where ol’ hottie Cherry peg leg is about to be “propositioned” by Tarantino’s character? Director Rodriguez was even a nice guy and shot from behind so you “real” men could actually watch Tarantino’s dripping, melty, oozy thingies in comfort. You weren’t looking directly at a real nutsack dropping its wet, slopping chunks on the floor. No, it’s a gooey, drippy, mutated nutsack shot from behind and that makes all the difference in the world. It was gratuitous, but sheer genius! Real men could watch and even say they loved the movie without worrying anyone would think they’re Gay! WHEW! However, we’re still a little too speechless to comment on the testicles-in-a-jar collecting angle. Believe whatcha want, but we do have a threshold.

HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD
    Gotta love them liberated Europeans. They’ll find any damned reason to flash some skin…like, say, strolling through a cannibalistic village. Words can be lost in translation, but the language of jablonskies is international. There’s no need for scholarly analysis, no need for a storyline, cuz like a zap from a ray gun, one flash of ta-tas and Fanboys forgive things like plot holes, crappy editing, and bad dubbing. It’s a curveball of epic proportions even the toughest critics have a hard time fighting. It’s like titty Kryptonite. Oh, and the movie has zombies, but really, it is about the all-powerful jablonskies.

THE ROAD
    Since the film is meant to be all, like, serious we’ll try to be nice . It’ll be difficult because A) men are a scarcity when it comes to gratuitous displays on film, so any display is basically gratuitous (thanks Hollywood double standards!) and B) It’s an apocalypse film with Viggo Mortensen, who we all know is an actor , so when he puts down his backpack and whips out his mansack, we gotta treat those moments like sacred cows. Even fanboys who would normally tremor at the mere hint of impending trouser snake stop and think, “But they’re Viggo’s nads. This must be art, so it must be safe to watch. Art won’t make me gay, right?” (Actually, it will, but that is an article for another time.)
    John Hillcoat, the director, somehow managed to talk Aragorn, we mean Viggo, to show some skin not once, but twice in what appears to be frigid water. Any dude will tell ya, frigid waters and his little me’s don’t mix. There’s always a game of hide-and-seek that happens once somethin’ a little chilly hits the little willy. But nooo...not ol’ Viggo. Shot from behind on both occasions, in scenes that could’ve easily not been in the film, but whateverz, viewers get to see ol’ Viggo sporting a pair of low hanging fruit. We now all know where exactly Viggo carries his manpurse.

PIRANHA (2010)
    Sweet jesus this film is like the visual equivalent of state fair novelty foods. It is steeped in self-aware irony, childhood nostalgia, dipped in some kind of fat, sugar, and then more sugar, and yet we still shove it in our mouths with reckless abandon. And…it has so much wanton nudity that we don’t even know where to start.
    There are tits in just about every scene and even dialog about said tits. There are wet t-shirt contests, bikinis, and two of the main characters act like porn stars….wait for it…because they are porn stars. We sat down to watch this in our respective bunkers within a day of each another and, without the added help of telepathy, knew this film begged to be added to the gratuitous genitalia hall of fame.
    To the director, hats off, sir. We have never before seen a penis eaten and then regurgitated. Had to freeze frame that shit, we did. (For proof of this please see page 72.) Oh, and the scene where the victim is eaten by the piranhas and her implants float gently away in the currents…sheer poetry. It was like that plastic bag scene in American Beauty, only, like, deeper.
    Lastly, your homage to the mermaids of Weeki Wachee was simply inspired. We had no idea mermaids had lesbian tendencies and were fans of Brazil. We did figure out your tricks – you hid the scuba tanks in their breasts, didn’t you? Sure, sure, some members of the audience were fine with the suspension of disbelief that beautiful, horny chicks can indeed survive underwater by simply gyrating against one another, but really, they should have drowned after the first two minutes. But no, you stretched that scene out as far as you could, you naughty boy.
    We kinda wanna go watch this again now…

So dear readers, here are three Pubic Service Announcements from the miscreants here at RM:
1) Bazookas, while wonderful things, do not excuse poor acting and abysmal story development.
2) Cinematic penises will not hurt you. However, that one in your hand right now will make you go blind.
3) Is Godzilla a top or bottom? Discuss. Defend your argument.

Review: Infection, by Craig DiLouie (by DeadVida)

2011-05-13T17:11:00.000-07:00

INFECTION

By Craig DiLouie

Paperback: 296 pages

Publisher: Permuted Press

Pub date: February 22, 2011

ISBN-13: 978-1934861653

Imagine if you will standard (almost) zombie fair – outbreak, unexplained violence, mass chaos, group of unlikely survivors banding together – only the story is somehow the unlikely lovechild of THE BREAKFAST CLUB and H. P. Lovecraft. In that description I offer praise, as well as some criticism. There is a lot to like here and the overall story and pacing engaged me as a reader. Some of what I found original was also some of what frustrated me, so make of that what you will.

The story starts with 20% of the world’s population screaming and then going into comas. A few days later they awaken and begin attacking the rest of the population. We then meet a group of survivors, and their stories are told in flashback as the novel progresses. This was handled well and the flashbacks even managed an organic, at times nightmarish, feel. We meet Ethan, the high school math teacher, dealing with his missing wife and child; Paul, the former reverend, who is searching for god; Anne, the most inscrutable character at first, who is carrying more baggage than most; Sarge, an Army man just back from Afghanistan and fighting a new war he understands even less; Wendy, a young cop from Pittsburgh unsure of herself; and Todd, a high school junior who seems to cope better than most because of his age and ability to disassociate and skill with FPS games. Together, they attempt to find safe haven and eventually flee Pittsburgh in Sarge’s Bradley tank as the city burns.

The survivors go against zombie movie conventions and attempt to take refuge at a hospital. It is here that the book kicks into high gear and deviates from the standard viral zombie storyline. At the hospital we learn that there are “things” now infesting the earth – worms, parasitic monkey-like creatures, and “demons.” The characters offer theories, but these are never explained and their “otherness” felt Lovecraftian to me. I couldn’t tell if I liked this and the possible explanation or if it was superfluous. Regardless, they are creepy. I mean, as if fighting deranged, infected humans wasn’t enough! Furthering the creep factor is that children aren’t infected – they are simply killed and eaten.

Each character has had his or her purpose in life destroyed or altered, and DiLouie attempts to show the characters as they struggle with this new reality. They each try and find reasons to live, knowing they have the very real option of just giving up. The individual characterizations were decent, especially given the amount of action in the book. It often seems that authors choose one or the other. In my option, action is meaningless if there is no investment in the characters.

It is dealing with who the characters were and who they are now, as well as the almost forced intimacy that steers this into THE BREAKFAST CLUB territory. I mean, we all know that they went back to ignoring each other on Monday, right? These characters had nothing in common before and the sense that they were one big family after two weeks felt contrived. As individuals, DiLouie put a great deal of effort into their characterizations. I wish he would have done the same with the individual and group dynamics.

This passage is a good example of what many of the characters are going through, “We try and live with as little pain and as much pleasure as possible. But pain makes us realize we are alive. We truly live one moment to the next when we live with pain. When pain stops, we become afraid. And we remember things that we do not wish to remember that are themselves painful.”

I am curious if there is a sequel planned and if certain things will be explained. Overall, this is a worthwhile addition to the genre.

Review: Aftertime, by Sophie Littlefield (by DeadVida)

2011-05-04T03:25:00.000-07:00

Aftertime
By Sophie Littlefield
Paperback: 384 pages
Publisher: Luna
Pub Date: February 15, 2011
ISBN-13: 978-0373803361

I’ve got a thing for well-written damaged characters, as well as unreliable narrators. They make you work a little harder, and for that they usually tend to force you into their worlds. In AFTERTIME the damaged physical and psychological worlds Sophie Littlefield has created are adroitly crafted.

Cass Dollar is a Grade A damaged character surviving in a broken world. She is a survivor in every sense of the word. She survived a childhood of abuse, an adulthood where she self-abused (with alcohol and sex), and now the Aftertime, filled with violence, death, and famine. She has been sober for a while, so she is aware of her addiction, but at the same time the reasons she felt the need to numb herself are still there, still demanding succor.

Creating a realistic world after cataclysmic events is harder than it looks, and Littlefield’s earth walks that fine line of familiarity and unknown. Bio-warfare has caused massive world-wide famine and ecological destruction with plant species of all kinds wiped out. This leads the government to try and help by creating genetically altered plants with complete nutritive values. That goes awry and one of the plants, the blueleaf, leads to fever, madness, and cannibalism. Those who live past the fever are called Beaters and they are just one threat to the existence of the survivors.

The behavior of the Beaters is genuinely disturbing. Within the first few pages I realized that the content was going to offer some real horror when Cass watched a deranged woman appear to start to kiss someone. “The woman shook her head and only then did Cass realize she’s sunk her teeth into the man’s flesh and was tugging at it. Tearing at it. Trying to rip off a shred.” The Beaters like to eat flesh and usually start by eating pieces of their own. Nibbling at their own arms.

Cass awakens and struggles to remember what has happened to her. Miles from home, she begins a dangerous and solitary walk back to her small town and eventually meets survivors. Again, as a complicated character she vacillates between wanting to reject everyone who comes near her and wanting acceptance, between strength and self-doubt. Her primary goal is to find her daughter, whom she had already lost once in the Before. The four miles between the school the survivors have made home and the library where Cass last saw her daughter are dangerous, and the enigmatic Smoke offers to escort her. As is often the case, the society of the “living” is as dangerous as that of the zombies (not actually dead in this case, but still zombies in my book).

Smoke is a little too good to be true at times and slightly two-dimensional. I hope that in the subsequent books he is given as much complexity as Cass. Overall, this was a worthwhile, compelling read and a world I look forward to exploring further. Recommended.

Review: FUKITOR & SATANIC TERROR (by Dread Sockett)

2011-05-02T16:19:00.000-07:00

FUKITOR & SATANIC TERROR
By Jason Karns
Website with galleries of art on display: fukitor.blogspot.com
fukitor@gmail.com

Jason Karns’ FUKITOR and SATANIC TERROR take me back to the days when I gathered my lunch money and hoofed it downtown to this one bookstore that was crammed with every damned type of periodical imaginable. Stuff was haphazardly arranged and shoppers could find something from five years prior sitting on the shelf next to something stocked that day. You never knew what was buried underneath the piles. Comix-wise, I got my introduction to undergrounds during one of these treasure hunts. While my friends were yacking about SPIDER-MAN, I’d suck the air out of conversations when I’d mention (even then old) titles like FANTAGOR or FAT FREDDY’s CAT.

Fast-forward a few years…I had hoped with the whole indie/zine thing I’d be just as awed by the crazyass worlds only small press-type books could deliver. Those individual slices of creativity, unfettered by profit, that you could turn to remind you there was someone out there who was still willing to think outside the box. Unfortunately, I came into zines (from fanzines – and yes, there is a difference) during the big autobio comics period where everything was about someone’s trip to the grocery store or their ruminations at the coffeemaker. Yawn.

There is none of that shit here. THANK. FUCKING. GAWD. Take a look at the titles and if you can’t get past them, then leave now. Like an insect with bright warning markers on display, if you tread past the titles and get stung, you have no one to blame but yourself!

So believe it or not, I have actually wondered, in one of my more... uhm.. “creative” mindsets, what would happen if someone threw Fellini, Burton, (old) Waters, some Euro-trash-exploitation-sleaze, a generous amount of Horror and straight-up porn into a blender…and goddammit if Jason Karns didn’t do just that!

In FUKITOR #3, the “SICK FUCKS AND SLASHERS” issue, we have “TOMB OF THE SICK FUCKS,” where greedy treasure hunters get more than they bargained for when the dead rise and do more than get their revenge. Guts get chewed, heads shorn off, and blood sprays everywhere while they get their maggot-spewing grooves on. In “SUBURBAN SLASHER MASSACRE,” an escaped mental patient goes on a rampage at a sorority as the girls scream, “Like, oh my fucking god!”

In FUKITOR #1, the two-part “POSEUR HOLOCAUST” blasts metalheads and Goths and in “DUNGEON OF BLOODY DEATH” a couple gets captured by undead monks who bring back the Inquisition, and what a show it is indeed.

SATANIC TERROR #1 is my favorite issue, next to Fukitor #3. I mean, damn, how can you not love something titled “THE THING WITH TOO MANY DAMN EYES”?? It doesn’t even matter that those eyes are each attached to toothy penis-like tentacle things that attack people and do “other things” to them after stupid scientists open a portal. In “BLOODY BUTCHERS OF THE DAMNED” watch NAZI ZOMBIES rise and wreak more bloody havoc on some party kids.

ARTWISE: Karns has his stuff nailed. If we were talking some action/drama stories I’d want to see much more refinement and better composition. Here, he illustrates everything perfectly; I wouldn’t want to see anything different. His production is tight, with color covers and interiors(!), something I’d usually be all over (especially being so rare in small press), but here, I’d LOVE to see his compositions in B&W just to view his line work. Karns’ work is chaotic and hyper-detailed, with his characters’ expressions reflecting just the right look to add whoompf! to punchlines. The bumped-up production values actually work against his art’s presentation at times by obscuring details. That’s my one bone to pick.

As I re-read this, I kept imagining Karns’ at his drawing board chuckling his ass off and channeling a wink into his pages because he’s clearly having fun with his comix and readers. I would definitely recommend Karns’ work to lovers of REALLY offbeat fuck-you comix that don’t give a damn. They’re offensive, definitely NSFW, but clearly aware of themselves so that you can’t help but chuckle along with the surreal, absurdist world they plunge you into. Once you’ve read one, you quickly realize that the Underground is indeed still alive and well – you were just too distracted by all the other poseurs and their tales of coffeemaking.

Cover for Rigor Mortis #4

2011-03-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

Issue #4 will be out in April.

Pre-order now:

http://www.leekinginc.com/rigormortis/rm4.htm

Review: Feed, by Mira Grant

2011-03-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

Feed

By Mira Grant

Review by DeadVida

Website: www.thefeedbook.com

I’ve been pondering this review for several days. Feed isn’t your typical zombie novel. In fact, the name is a clever nod to the content, which has less to do with flesh eating than one might think. No, this is a zombie novel of very little zombie action, not much gore, and a world that manages to cope with zombies.

Unlike most zombie novels, Feed takes place 25 years after the start of the infection. For the majority of the novel the zombies are largely secondary to the plot. It is the changes that the zombies have had on society, politics, and the media that are the focus. The universe and characters that author Mira Grant creates are so detailed and well-conceived that suspension of disbelief was a breeze. The meticulous research on virology, media, and technology pays off and is well used. Furthermore, the narrator is a woman whose power comes from simply being strong, smart and doing her job. No superhero antics, no silly lingerie scenes, no rape threats because the author didn’t know how to otherwise infuse drama, no random comments about her boobs, and no denying her gender. There aren’t pointless action sequences to keep the pubescent mind interested – yes, Jonathan Mayberry, I’m looking at you. There aren’t any goofy gimmicks that distract and detract from the slipshod writing – yeah, that’s a shot at you, Brian Keene. No, here you have actual character development and a writer that carefully crafts a solid back story alongside the current narrative.

Her post-infection Earth of 2039 was oddly realistic. In 2014, scientists developed cures for cancer and the common cold. Unfortunately when the two cures meet, the Kellis-Amberlee virus is created, which in turns causes people to get sick, die, and reanimate in order to spread the virus. The virus infects everyone; it is just a matter of if and when it goes active. Death is an automatic cause for viral amplification. Being bit, scratched, or bled on by an infected person will also cause someone to turn. Standard zombie stuff that remains effective in the right hands.

Set in 2039, the new world has changed beyond the obvious. There are zones of varying degrees of safety, Alaska has been abandoned to the dead, and mammals above 40 pounds are also carriers. As the outbreak in 2014 occurred, traditional news media “protected” people by denying what was happening. This caused the expected deaths, outrage, and backlash. Bloggers on the other hand got online and told the truth as they saw it and, in some cases, saved lives. By 2039, old media has been shoved aside and bloggers are the dominant media. Grant creates a comprehensive and well-realized description of this new structure.

The main protagonists are George (Georgia), a “newsie” blogger, Shaun, George’s brother and “Irwin” blogger, and Buffy, a “fictional” who writes poetry and provides their IT support. And yes, there are some well-utilized pop culture references in the book. The trip is selected to report on the campaign of a presidential hopeful. It seems like the opportunity of a lifetime for the young reporters.

There are elements of political thriller, but the world in which Feed is set makes this a zombie novel. The unfolding of the storyline and pacing offered a slow burn of tension that ultimately paid off. As I said, there is little in the way of zombie action, but when it does happen it is swift and merciless.

As I completed the last of the 600 pages I wanted more. I wasn’t ready to give the characters up yet. The good news is that this is the first book in a trilogy and book 2, Deadline, is set to release in June 2011. Highly recommended.

Review: Pat the Zombie

2011-02-25T15:49:00.000-08:00

Pat the Zombie

Review by DeadVida

I am a fan of Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland, gallows humor, and ridiculousness. That said, I find the current wave of zombie humor books rather revolting. They are tired and sad, and for the most part appeal to the pabulum tastes of non-horror fans. Also, as Dread Sockett so eloquently put it in his magnum opus to Nazi zombies in the last issue, “usually when genres are at the point of spoofing they’ve exhausted other means of expression.” Personally, I just want to kill this crap and get back to the scary shit and heady sub-text that zombies can, in fact, offer.

When I saw that yet another zombified classic was coming out, in this case Pat the Zombie (a spoof on the children’s classic Pat the Bunny) I groaned inwardly. It just seemed like the jump the shark moment zombies have been building toward the last couple of years.

A couple of weeks ago an unsolicited review copy of Pat the Zombie landed in my mailbox. Again, I love zombies, funny stuff, and am familiar with the source material. I opened the box with as much impartiality as I am ever likely to muster. It is from 10 Speed Press and the packaging is spot-on. The press release promised me, that as a mother, who hates the “saccharine sweetness” of children’s books, that I would find this a “guilty pleasure.” Let me disclose right here that I have watched Chasing Amy and Simon Says (staring Crispin Glover!) with my pre-schooler. You would think I would be their target market, right?

Wrong. This would have been funny as a panel in Cracked. As an actual book/gift product it is just stupid. The whole joke is on the cover. From there just becomes someone laughing at his own joke, but with a really grating laugh, and then over-explaining the joke.

My fear is that this means we are just a short step from the dreaded sexy, yet misunderstood, teen zombie. Gag me with a femur bone.

RIGOR MORTIS REVIEW EXTRA: ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST (1980)

2011-02-06T14:52:00.000-08:00

RIGOR MORTIS REVIEW EXTRA: ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST (1980)

By Dread Sockett

While researching and going through endless VOODOO ZOMBIE films for an upcoming article in Rigor Mortis #4, I came upon a delicious little gem, Zombie Holocaust. It was originally going to be included in the VZ piece except, well, there's no Voodoo in it. I was so smitten with Voodoo overload, I went so far as to write this damn thing as an entry and then realized I'd been so distracted by boobs, latex guts, and general crackassery that it didn’t even belong in the damned article.

So because we're all generous and stuff here at RM, and because there's oooh, only about a zillion other reviews of this half-baked film and ok, fine, because it was already written, I thought I'd toss this in for tits...erm...SHITS & giggles.

Look at it as a freebie-preview of the upcoming article…even though it won't be in it…and, uhm, has nothing to do with the subject of said article. Hell, it's the thought that counts right? Just shut up and think of this as a bloody valentine from all of us at Rigor Mortis.

There’s a lot to love in this hot…messy…piece of work. Just don't hate me for recommending it because I'm telling you from the start, it's so bad it's good. Director Marino Girolami can’t be bothered with such trivial nonsense as narrative coherence and other technicalities in his film, but this is what makes ZH an entertaining romp. Not only that, but viewers will have déjà vu when locations and sets, as well as some of the actors, "reappear" straight from from Fulci's Zombi 2. It’s the Italian version of Hammer Films’ THE REPTILE/PLAGUE OF THE ZOMBIES film shoot that did the same thing by way of recycling not only the same sets, but actors as well, though with much classier and coherent narrative results.

We have something of a genre mix here. Not content with merely aping the Romero zombie model, the filmmakers pillage themselves and drop in a dose of the cannibal jungle exploitation scene, topped off nicely with lots of over-the-top gore. ZH’s strongest point is that it is clearly exploitation, nothing more or less. Hell, it doesn't even worry about aping the cannibal jungle genre that well. It just starts flinging familiar things at viewers and all they hafta do is open up and say ,"Aaah!". I sat recalling films like JUNGLE HOLOCAUST thinking damn, that was actually a good movie now that I've been exposed to (one of) the bowels of the cannibal film scene.

THE SORTA STORY: Body parts show up missing at a hospital. Not only that, patients are in their bed and fine one minute and the next suddenly missing internal organs, to the horror of the nurses. This little inconvenience gets the staff in a tizzy, naturally. This reaches its apex when one of the help gets caught ravenously chewing away at some poor sap's heart like he's trying to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. In an eyeball rolling scene that thankfully occurs at the beginning of the movie, said cannibal hospital staff gets caught but manages to escape out a window. The only problem is the window is, oooh, several stories up and as he hits bottom, his stand-in dummy's arm clearly pops off only to miraculously reappear in the real actor's next scene. This dear reader, tells you the madness that awaits you. And if you can get your groove on with that interesting editorial inclusion (or oversight) then ZH has yer name written all over it.

Diva-doctor Lori and Peter set off for the remote island Kito to follow the clue left behind from each body part theft: a mysterious symbol. They arrive with their expedition team and are immediately set upon by the cannibalistic natives who are so hungry for flesh that when they catch victims they don’t even bother to make sure they're dead, but immediately start ripping them apart and consuming them. The director bathes in the gloriousness of his native exploitation by not only featuring them running about spitting out a bunch of native "language" (read: gibberish), but he makes sure you know they're cannibals by giving us lots of lingering shots of them chewing away at various internal organs ripped from the kindasorta deceased. The film certainly delivers the gore in this respect and fans of excess will love it for this. The ridiculousness of the native portrayals not so much. But hey, if this was a PC film, there'd be no point in watching, right?

The natives continue to pick off the expedition team to the horror of the Asiatic "help," who thanks to the usual wonderful Italian post-dub rant on in a combo Pidgin English and Asian-something, I think. Nice. It's one of those scenes where you just know if filmmakers had Black natives, the dub would consist of variants of "ooga-booga". But not to worry, those of you who insist on subtext. One of the expedition party, the lead in fact, who happens to be Black, is named... get ready for it... Mulatto. No, really. I had to replay that just to make sure I heard right and now, you won't hafta bother. We're helpful like that here at RM.

The zombies show up and this eventually leads the remaining crew to a mad scientist conducting experiments with brain transplanting out in the jungle…. in a shack. Our diva doc gets captured but I’ll let you discover for yourself the what-the-Hell wrap up to that segment. Though I will say, the meaning(ish) of that mysterious symbol is revealed and the filmmakers, not ones to miss an opportunity, show us in very revealing angles how the symbol relates to the now nude Diva doc. Think of the questionable POV swimming scenes in ZOMBIE LAKE and you'll get the idea.

The zombies are pretty interesting. I wouldn't say they're as awesome as the creator's seem to suggest. Nor do I think the Italians really revolutionized the Zed scene the way that angle gets pushed. But still, for a gore and zombie combo, it works. Even when the Zeds are seen running around trying to stab people. The high point though has to be when a zombie gets his head ground through with the blades of a motor boat engine, followed closely by the brain transplant-scalp scene earlier.

Even compared to contemporary standards, ZH holds up well with the gore thrown at viewers. Camera angles lovingly frame every bloody consumption for full impact. And when that silly thing called a “story” threatens to get boring, the film throws in not only boobies of our lounging, barely clad diva, but also works that native thing so viewers can argue about the PC-ness of their handling. The natives would almost be hilarious if their depiction didn’t give viewers an “Oh no they didn’t” response. I couldn’t help but think back to those Mondo Cane type exploitation films. If you want what amounts to a hot mess of a film, here’s your answer. Just don't ever say you weren't warned.

Review: Roger Corman's Cult Classics

2011-01-25T17:37:00.000-08:00

ROGER CORMAN TRIPLE FEATURE: ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS, NOT OF THIS EARTH, and WAR OF THE SATELLITES (DVD)

Review by Dread Sockett

Release Date: 1/18/2011

Shoutfactory.com

Those of you eagerly awaiting the end of times, please rejoice. The release of these films on DVD surely must mean we've come to the end of all things. Why else would the rights holders wait this frakking long to put these damned things out?

I mean geez, we're already into a new video format so this is almost like putting stuff out on VHS. Of course, let me be first to admit, if they did put these out on VHS, well, ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS at least, I'd be hustling my silly butt down to the local thrift store to look for some old machine on which to play the stupid thing. Life is like that for the hardcore fanboy. Talk shit... collect shit while acting indignant and shit... talk more shit after getting shit... make popcorn... eat that shit... sit yer ass down and watch this shit... then write some crazy-assed shit.

It's a very simple life.

So here we have SHOUT FACTORY's awesome Oldschool release of not one but three hard-to-find films: ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS (1957), NOT OF THIS EARTH (1958) and WAR OF THE SATELLITES (1958). It's a crackass combo, but after crap bootlegs, this is like the SCI-FI boxsets that came out a few years ago. You just say thank the nerd gods and shut up. The main reason for many to pick this up is AOTCM followed closely by NOTE. I suppose the truly hardcore would put WOTS above these. If there is such a person I'd like to meet him/her though because s/he is an even bigger masochist than myself and bitches like us need to know our peers.

ATTACK: I almost had an aneurysm when I found out that not only does SHOUT present the film in Anamorphic widescreen, but there's even a fun commentary track to boot (and I'm not usually one who usually gives a damn about commentaries). I watched this fabulously awesome mess of a film twice in a row to soak in all aspects of its radioactive juices. The commentary features TOM WEAVER and the BRUNAS brothers (all authors of books that matter on old horror for those who can afford them suckers) and is full of probably more information than this film deserves.

Honestly, it's packed with so much insight you'd think they were discussing BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (read: they don't talk shit about the material but are quite aware that they aren't talking about a film like BOF at the same time. It’s a fine line to walk). This type of commentary was what I expected when I sat down to watch THE GIANT BEHEMOTH's DVD and was horrified at the disrespect that FX maestros PHIL TIPPETT and DENNIS MUREN displayed, but I digress. ATTACK's presentation was truly perfect in all regards. The print is beautiful. I'd waited for this for years and can now ditch that awful full-screen ALLIED bootleg I've had all this time. As a side note, I never bothered to check all these years since many of this film's contemporaries were full screen, but for some reason I had no idea this was widescreen – and I call myself a fan of AOTCM. I'd watched the bootleg, assuming that was how it always looked. This should tell you why I was (nearly-ish) as nuts about this coming out as say, when the Japanese language version of GOJIRA/GODZILLA was released stateside.

ATTACK concerns scientists who come to a Pacific atoll in search of some missing colleagues. The atoll and its inhabitants were affected by nearby atomic testing. The atmosphere of surrealism sells this pic, even with its obvious shortcomings. It's all clearly cheap, but the atmosphere pervades and viewers need to just settle into the movie's crackass logic and roll with it. From the minute their boat lands and Corman gives us a half-baked money shot (one of the telepathic mutant crabs has a partial reveal as it decapitates someone), you know this isn't quite like the rest of the 50's flicks. No, you're not going to be watching the likes of DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL or even THEM! but you are miles above the Syfy-esque equivalents of the day like SHE DEMONS and MONSTER FROM GREEN HELL. This is quality 50's schlock and believe me there is a difference for those of our younger Peeps who think all B/W films look alike.

So after the scientists get settled, they all start getting picked off one by one. It becomes apparent the mutant crab monsters (who really don't do all that much attacking) assimilate the minds of their victims. This in turn leads to some interesting telepathic exchanges where they communicate with the remaining scientists through everything but the kitchen sink (really, I'm not kidding). Eventually, the usual showdown happens and we get to see the monsters in all their glory. The crabs are big and who knows how they went from normal crabs to the giant Japanese monster look. They even have "faces" which reminds me of THE BLACK SCORPION monsters' close-ups.

NOT OF THIS EARTH was a pleasant surprise since I don't recall seeing this as a kid. I'd heard about it, but it's always been a pain to track down even as a bootleg. The pleasantness was compounded, after my usual cursory scan of the disc to see what I was getting into, which suggested a rather boring movie made up of some guy walking around in a dark suit and sunglasses with buggy white eyeballs. I couldn't have been more wrong and now am awaiting a chance to check out the commentary that's attached.

BEVERLY GARLAND stars here as nurse Nadine and for those who need the name-drop explained, she was truly one of the first ass-kicking women in Horror/Sci-fi. While her peeps were shoving their knuckles into their mouths and stuck making coffee, Bev was refining the art of being a bitch in heels. Okay, maybe a little knuckle shoving but it was done with some BETTE DAVIS bitchiness™. I LOVE BEVERLY GARLAND. Of course, it was odd that here she kinda worked my nerves for being kinda too independent when she clearly needed to STFU and listen to her cop boyfriend... but naaaaaaaaw. It was obvious though that in this role she was meant to be a little less spirited and more of a sensitive character compared to her other roles (like say her bitchy self in IT CONQUERED THE WORLD) so all is forgiven.

PAUL BIRCH stars as Paul Johnson, an alien agent who has come to earth in search for blood to help save his dying planet, Davana. Birch's alien speaks in this cold, stiff manner that at first is a little jarring, but is perfect for his alien. He really does sell the role of an alien being who's trying to fit into earth's society with all of the expected awkward deliveries and lacking emotion, not to mention a near total unawareness of stuff like parking laws and other customs like not killing people and tossing their remains into your furnace. Birch, for our apocalypse fans, also starred in CORMAN's DAY THE WORLD ENDED.

Johnson gets Nadine to become his personal nurse at his home so that she can give him blood transfusions. This keeps Johnson alive so that he can continue with his mission of sending specimens back to his superiors in Davana. Nadine meets Johnson's chauffeur Jeremy, who's a hustler who unknowingly gets charged with bringing back victims for Johnson. Mixed into this is Nadine's cop BF and her doc employer who's researching Johnson's blood condition while under his telepathic control. Throughout NOTE we get rabies injections, funky dimensional travel machines, mind control, lotsa deaths, and of a little bit of tolerable cheese to top it off.

NOTE could easily play with the likes of IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE and INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS.

WAR OF THE SATELLITES: For this reviewer, the less said about this little gem the better, though being featured with NOTE only underscores what a good film NOTES is and gives the uninitiated viewer of older Sci-Fi a good idea of what a bad 50's film looks like versus one that actually has some merits. In WOTS, the denizens of the galaxy don't like that us humans are starting to venture into space so they basically forbid us from space travel. Of course, what do we do? We travel into space first chance we get in our massive rocket ships outfitted with reclining lounge chairs which in turn doesn't make our body invading galaxy neighbors too happy (the travel, not lounge chairs). YAWN.

FEATURES: A pretty good Corman salute is included which contains some mostly enjoyable remembrances from those who went through the Corman school of film making. It does get a little smoochey-tedious after a bit, but good nonetheless. TRAILERS: I never thought trailers counted as a “feature” but whatever. The last time I got even remotely interested in trailers on a disc was when I think SIMITAR had a bunch of GODZILLA ones collected. Here, 25 CORMAN trailers surely will appeal to someone- Hell, I might even sit through them at some point. The commentaries are the features to zero in on though. I still haven't heard NOTE's but if AOTCM is an indication, it too will be an excellent listen.

FINIS: All in all, this is a kickass set of some sorely missing movies. SHOUT has kicked ass with their MST3K sets (despite being priced like some damned gold bricks... I'm still saving lunch money for my GYPSY figure before THAT goes outta print, mmmkay! Sheesh guys, GYPSY better vibrate and make me breakfast when all is done) (oops... nuther digresion). With this release, I am a bonofide fan of this company. This set was obviously put together by folks who knew what they had and gave a damn and it totally shows. This was like a CRITERION release of for us B-movie fans. Really. Usually I don't steer this far from Horror reviews, I mean this IS SCI-FI period, but this release just made me hafta do the fanboy dirty boogie babble.

Review: The Vegan Revolution... with Zombies

2011-01-02T15:37:00.000-08:00

The Vegan Revolution... with Zombies

By David Agranoff

Review by DeadVida

Curiosity got the better of me and I ordered this novel. I mean, other than interviews with Linnea Quigley and Attack of the Vegan Zombies (which really had nothing to do with veganism), I seldom see the chocolate and peanut butter union of vegans and zombies. That said, my expectations were dubious-to-low, given that this was a new release from Deadrite Press – the same people who brought you The Haunted Vagina and Ass Goblins of Aushwitz (no, really, go look it up http://eraserheadpress.com/).

That said, this was the best satire involving vegans I have ever read and the zombie outbreak here was fresh and original. In the interest of full disclosure, I am a long-time abolitionist vegan (who loves horror and has a sense of humor) and while reading the book I had to wonder who else the audience was other than me and two friends. I quickly went out and bought both friends copies.

Author David Agranoff doesn’t let anyone off the hook and for that I love him. He blasts the welfare “reforms” that have lead to the idea of “happy meat”, as well as PETA, freegans, and the “dreaded ex-vegan.” He also takes on Portland’s hipster culture (and their fucked up obsession with bacon) and Juggalos. While it is obvious he is an abolitionist, he also has some fun mocking Gary Francione’s ardent followers. That was the point at which this went from rollicking fun zombie novel to one of my favorite reads this year. Hell, he even derides the zombie-obsessed.

The overall premise is that the creation of “Stress-Free Meat,” as pushed for by welfarists and people who think exploitation can be “humane,” has unexpected consequences and meat-eaters begin turning into zombies. Set in Portland, arguably the vegan mecca of the US, the only people unaffected are those who abstain from all animal products. The protagonist, Dani, is recently vegan so she suddenly sees animal exploitation with unmuted horror. She works at a publishing house that is cranking out classic mash-ups with zombies. She begins to notice changes in her co-workers and suddenly she, her boyfriend, and the rest of the vegans in Portland are fighting for their cruelty-free lives.

The end of the book was more serious and didactic than I would have expected, but still appreciated. At 160 pages this is a quick read and one I whole-heartedly recommend.

Paperback: 160 pages

Publisher: Deadite Press

Pub date: August 30, 2010

ISBN: 9781936383139

The RM Committee For Better Mental Health Via Dubious New Years Revolutions

2011-01-01T14:33:00.000-08:00

So the Rigor Mortis Committee For Better Mental Health Via Dubious New Years Revolutions was convened. One of our first attempts at rational discourse was the cover of Rigor Mortis #4. Like most family gatherings, it resulted in the good china flying.

In the last few months we have already created three covers. After each issue we’ve heard from the lily livered that our covers are too scary. Well, boo-fucking-hoo.

But we decided to relax our grip on the beating hearts of our readers and created an Alien inspired cover. We also thought we would open up our content to more types of horror. Ho-hum. Booooring.

Let’s face it, Rigor Mortis is about safe, zombie apocalypse bloodletting. So we were back on the gore like white on rice. That tangent resulted in a The Walking Dead painting. Look at that nasty-assed ropey bloody drool. Yum. Our satisfaction only lasted a few weeks until the next idea hit…

And now, thanks to the wonders of ADD, we are all kinds of hawt about voodoo zombies. That’s right, grandpappy’s Z’s. We had Bojan paint one of the Sugar Hill zombies. Never easy top please, we are now toying with an I Walked with a Zombie-inspired cover.(Rough draft shown)

In the midst of all this the RM ink-bitch, Bojan, decided 2-D wasn’t enough for his artistic demons and picked up a dormant project. In the Pre-RM days, Bojan, Dread, and I toyed with the idea of releasing a licensed model of Vampirella based on the iconic image created by Frank Frazetta. We had planned to do some limited castings to sell and thereby raise cash to pay for the license and future art projects. This was planned as homage to Forrest J Ackerman, Frazetta, Trina Robbins and James Warren. The packaging was going to be based on Aurora's box art with a Bojan's take of the Frazetta piece on it painted off the finished sculpt. Sexy, no?

Then shit hit the fan (cancer, work, life, death, MSG) and in the midst of all that parts to the prototype went missing. A hand was lost…legs broke…so we ditched it and months later RM was born, suckling all of our anxious and creative energies. It also didn't help when we reconsidered it as an RM hiatus project that Ackerman and Frazetta passed away (in 2008 and 2010, respectively).

So during this latest cover brawl, I suggested to Bojan he finish the damned thing. He was having one of those pesky artist tantrums, where he was going around throwing away unfinished art projects. Sometimes the only way you can win a fight with an artist of his temperament is to out ADD/OCD him. It scares him. He-he.

He is now being kept busy repinning/dremeling/epoxying the hand and broken ankle. We still have no idea what the Hell we're doing with it when he's done, but still want to do something at some point.

So now that he is in artistic restraints for the moment, we still need to decide about the damned cover. Do we go for new gore? Voodoo? Something else we haven’t explored? We are curious to hear from our readers.

And at that, we begin 2011…

Is it over now?

2010-12-26T09:29:00.000-08:00

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The Walking Dead: Review Episode 6, "TS-19"

2010-12-12T05:30:00.000-08:00

TS-19

(Or: Unexpected Houseguests From Hell And How To Deal With Them)

By Dread Sockett

INGREDIENTS NEEDED:

Liquor

Explody-type stuff

Awkward social skills

So in my really short, less-is-more review (bwahahaha) of THE WALKING DEAD Episode 5 (Wildfire), I took the news of Frank Darabont shite-canning his writers and ran with it like a Crackhead with a stolen TV set. Well, since then there has been a flurry of updates (read: cut and pasted links and paraphrases from primarily two sources) that in essence say: “No, Darabont didn't can his writers, not really...errr... sort of... and stuff... ooh look a butterfly!”. Kirkman and Hurd made statements to downplay these erroneous reports saying that there's no big egos in little China and there's no writers being fired ... well, not as us little people understand "fired", just re-purposed in Illuminati-type ways only industry insiders are privy too and even though no writers got canned they still aren't sure how the writing thing is working next season, but still, chill bitches, chill.

WHEW! Glad we got that cleared up.

FINALE REVIEW, FINALLY: This is it. Countdown begins to next season. The good thing is, when that surfaces this show will finally get some darn breathing room. I'm going to assume these rushed stories and crackass, crowbarred script issues will be a thing of the past or downplayed to a noticeable degree. Consistency would be nice. I know you, dear reader, wonder how these reviews can be so negative yet I still look forward to Season 2. This is why: there's still so much to explore and work with and most importantly, improve on, but this show needs more time to do it. Hell, maybe they might even remember there was once a comic at the root of this TV series. When TWD first began, in all fairness, no one knew how well-received it would be. Well, now that it's a success, there's no need to jam everything, but the kitchen sink into 6 episodes.

This season had some really good points, but they were overshadowed by unevenness and terrible character developments (i.e.: getting insight into people pretty much as they die is just plain bad). And except for elements of the VATOS episode, I never had the same issue with the acting as some other reviewers. In fact, they all did pretty well, all points considered. I mean damn, I really believe Andrea is a psycho bitch that needs some serious medication. Jim & Jacki's actors sold their characters to me but then of course, got killed off leaving me more irritated at the writers for short-changing them than sad to see them go. Everyone else appears to be working with what they've got rather than under-performing. If we're lucky, and TWD's potential is really exploited, much of Season 1 will be nothing but a special feature on Season 2's boxset. Well, save for the pilot, which could almost stand on its own. Here’s hoping these last 6 weeks have just been warm up.

THE BAD: I understand that we've gotten little-to-no cozy time with Jaqui, but I mean really, expendable character or not, I had to clutch my pearls on this one. The writers had the Grrl switch gears and decide to get incinerated. For those needing the memo: they had her butt choose to burn to death. BURN. TO. DEATH. Don't talk to me about the world that awaits, how quick, blah blah blah. No warning, suddenly crispy character. Re-read them caps and tell me you'd pick that. Damn.

I would've bought this a little better if the story didn't go from cocktail party to Kamikaze in 60 seconds. Again, this is what I am talking about with the rushed feeling and sloppy writing. It would have taken a minimal changes to make this almost believable. The only change needed to make this work would have been the implied passage of time. I mean really, they show up JUST as the building is about to blow up??? Let the survivors feel safe for a few weeks. Food in their bellies, showers, sleep, and let the PTSD have a chance to take root. Let the doc get to know these people, care for them, and let the weight of his knowledge about the building's imminent kaboom grow into a beneficent messiah complex. Have him kill them out of mercy, not this wishy-washy version of it.

Of course most characters are going to react with a fight to the death survival instinct when someone is trying to make the choice for them.That's where it changes the game for most people. If Jaqui had been given a scene or two showing that she was terrified of going back outside it would have made sense for her to go from murder to suicide in the blink of an eye. I just didn't get a die-on-my-own-terms vibe. But whatever, I'm more of a Marilyn Monroe-leave-a-pretty-corpse kinda guy, so maybe it's just me. Maybe some people do like that crispy BBQ action. And despite her freak-out last episode I wanted to see what happened to her, but not like this.

CAROL THE PURSE BOMBER: OH. MY. GAWD. Sure.. ummm, I'll roll with it. Anyone, and I mean anyone who has the unmitigated badassery to calmly whip out a grenade that they've been lugging around in their purse like it was some TV remote they forgot about is alright by me. I mean really. A grenade. The men of the group are running around like a bunch of school girls tryin' to see Justin Beiber cuz they can't bust through the glass barrier and BAM! Carol just casually whips out an explosive that will save all their butts. Work that shit, Grrrl. Hope she has some tires, gasoline and extra food in that magic bag for later (Hell, maybe she has an extra husband in there too). I mean geez, how did Rick forget about it since he found it? Was there too much going on? Well, Carol remembered it while there was a crisis so what does that say? Told ya'll Rick was kinda thick. He might'z got a purty mouf, but shit for brains. Make that woman leader NOW!

My Ears are Crying: Before I tackle the obvious ongoing, closing-music-as-some-kinda-hipster-irony-whatever-deepness I suggest you snag yourself a copy of Vera Lynn's "We'll Meet Again" (and yes, I do mean the version found on DR. STRANGELOVE). Now put that in place of Dylan's closing song and tell me that doesn't work better. Now remember, Jaqui done got blowed up... some of the escaping group were smote with pesky blast burns, bubbling flesh and missing half their face from being so close to ground zero (oops, sorry, that would be in real life, my bad), they're driving off into the sunset in more vehicles than there are survivors, and we're stuck waiting for a almost a fracking year for the next season. Go on, I'll wait.

(tick, tock, tick, tock)

There, see? Tell me you ain't all misty eyed like yer momma done took away yer XBOX and kicked yer ass out the basement with only a half bag of tater chips. Uh huh, thought so. Save Dylan for one of them Johnny Cash "The Man Comes Around" montages you know is coming.

OVERALL: This was a compelling episode. The opening was probably the most exciting segment of the show. Seeing how Shane dealt with Rick was revealing. At best, he was literally up against the wall with split second life and death decisions to make for both, creating some serious tension. At worst, we see he's a piss poor trained officer and first responder who let his emotions get the best of him when he was checking for Rick's vitals. Still pretty awesome beginning.

It was interesting that in the previous episode, Rick has a meltdown as his grand plan crashes around them and they are stuck outside with death inching towards them. Then once inside they repay the "kindly" doc, by getting shitfaced throughout the facility. Nice. While they are eating, further displays of their shitty social skills come into view, and Shane kills the fun by being...well... a dick. He rudely confronts the doctor for info, as if he's pressing him for some murder confession. Luckily the doc shuts down his, and most of their rude asses, with, well....reality....and what a bitch she is these days. Guess that showed Andrea that there's a bigger bitch in town now. Didn't come for the eggs, indeed. I assumed the doc's little brain-go-boom presentation was gonna knock her butt down a few more notches and back to some form of civility. Nooooo, as usual Andrea has to go there again with the whole, "What yer saying is we're screwed" yammer like it's all his fault. See, it's all in the cadence... the nuance. She has none. She just has "Bitch". Gawd... I implore someone to take control of this character's writing before I kick in my flipping TV. And to Laurie Holden, you are selling this shit a little too well, Grrl. I hate your character more than one of my exes.

Now, as irritating as I found some of the survivors’ behavior, I did enjoy this infomercial...err, section most of all. It was almost payback watching them squirm as they realized their fates were hopelessly sealed, and we hadn't even gotten to the ‘splosion part. No more CRATE & BARREL. No more WAL-MART. No more ESPRESSO. It's OVAH! And no amount of tantrums, snarky comments, friending, posting etc.... is gonna save ya. I've always thought these guys were some damn rude SOBs that needed to effing chill and the doc managed to accomplish this with brutal, clinical precision and barely raised an eyebrow... well his voice maybe. Hopefully with their new lease on life they'll grow up a little.

I'll also hope that since we've seen a kid zombie, a horse eaten, a wife-beater beaten, children drinking, and now Shane's drunken sexual assault on Lori, that we'll get to see Carl finally get a gun in hand next season and none of this PC glaze over. The scene between Shane and Lori was a disturbing and well-done (although Lori still seems to act by staring) that there should be no excuse to hold back in this show.

‘SPLOSIONS AND THINGS BLOWEDED UP: The ending felt rushed. The finale really needed some breathing room and it felt as if there was an entire middle sequence missing that needed to get us to the countdown room more effectively. It was because of this expediency that the doc's actions didn't quite gel. He's obviously a man of some honor who sticks to commitments and gives a damn. It's irrelevant that he's revealed to be a scientist grunt and merely stuck to the plan. He still valued human life enough to continue working besides the fact he let them in knowing things were ultimately futile. Was this his god complex in allowing them one last night of fun before he destroyed them? Also, despite containment protocols, he still wasn't depicted as unhinged enough that he would assume the destiny of these survivors was entirely his call. He went from quiet and having some suspected internalized issues to suddenly he's all suicidal and taking the party with him. It just felt like this section started pulling in too many directions at once. When we finally get to Andrea's choice to stay behind it also seemed a little effed that Dale is positioned in such a way as to focus on her only. This set up, doomsday timing and their relationship be damned, just looks sloppy as Hell that Jaqui is there like a piece of meat and no acknowledgement. Despite this, I was still quite moved by Dale's comments and Jaqui's choice.

So, there you have it. Time to start watching the clock for next season. More episodes should hopefully give the new writers....oops! The writers who haven't been fired but aren't all there some stretching room with the new freelancers that didn't really get hired. I'm eager to see Michonne & Tyrese show up – two characters I sincerely hope they do not mess with – as well as the reappearance of Merle. Guess we'll see, right?

Z. A. Recht - One Year Ago Today

2010-12-10T03:44:00.000-08:00

Horror author Z.A. RECHT left us one year ago today. We dedicated our last issue to him and ran a piece on this rising talent whose potential we'll never fully know.

He was unable to complete his apocalyptic zombie series THE MORNINGSTAR TRILOGY (PLAGUE OF THE DEAD & THUNDER AND ASHES) leaving fans to wonder how the story ended.

Luckily, what he did have completed and also through the notes he'd left behind, Recht's final book SURVIVORS is being assembled right now with the blessings of his family. The folks at Permuted Press are painstakingly pulling together the elements to allow Z. A. Recht's legacy to live on, in as close to his voice as is possible. The news of this undertaking is huge for fans of the series. We wish them all the best. Visit Z's forum to see snippets of the work in progress, with occasional updates as the project takes form.

So a toast on this Friday to the man, Z! We salute you!

The Walking Dead: Review Episode 5, "Wildfire"

2010-12-02T17:52:00.000-08:00

WILDTIRED

(Or, Pardon Me But I'm Feeeling A Little Bitchy)

By Dread Sockett

So here we are at the next to last episode of Season One of TWD. For this review I want to attempt a less is more attitude and knock this out in as few words as possible (quit laughing over there little ms. editor.) (Editor’s note: bwhahahahahaha.). Think of this attempt like the show itself, where 40+ minutes of actual viewing time needs to communicate an hour and a half of material. Now, I won't lie, this is kind of a test since I've heard that my reviews are far too long. Whatever. I'm feeling bitchy....so let's see what we come up with shall we?

The big news this week was that FRANK DARABONT has canned his writers. To that I say good. It's about time. The show’s writing has been on a swift landslide into mediocrity. Of course it's wonderful to have a weekly zombie show, but what good is it if it's filled with unlikable "survivors" and a time frame that is woefully short to get around to the "they're really good people once we get to know them"? I say good riddance and good luck to DARABONT in this bold move. I certainly won't argue if it means some of this DAWSON'S CREEK shit gets ditched. Can it go either way? Of course. I'll take my chances.

Episode 5 (“Wildfire”) was probably my new favorite episode and finally, the characterization gets ramped up even more. In hindsight, we look at how poorly developed the characters have been that it almost works against itself now that there's some emotional moments going on. Many characters weren't all that likable to begin with so now FINALLY we have reason to care and we must force ourselves because that's what we're supposed to do. In the case of Andrea sitting with her sister for what? 12 hours? That was touching and all, but come on, that was beginning to get soapy; I mean I was starting to break out the wash cloth and lather up. I understand where they were trying to go, but it began to feel forced being so drawn out. It stopped being touching and became unhinged. It also did not help in the least that she pulls a gun on Rick (for a second time), which undermines the sentiment of the moment. Andrea is fucking nuts, dead sister or not. Get that bitch some Ativan STAT next trip into town.

And just when I thought the group was getting some serious, convincing, personality time so that I didn't feel the need to paint them as a bunch of poor-desperate-white-collars-on-the-verge-of-nervous-breakdown, they go and have Jim's outing by Jaque just get out of control. I mean shit, instead of acting with compassion that one of her compatriots is mortally wounded and OBVIOUSLY (KEYWORD) not about to turn in a second, they have her go batshit crazy. Why'd they finally give her screen time and do that to her? I hate the bitch now. Then of course, she yo-yo's and becomes Florence Nightingale in the van. TOUCHING HIM AND SHIT. Remember folks, she had springs in her ass when he was clearly ambulatory and lucid, yet when he's obviously succumbing to infection she's right up against his face? She kisses him for fuck’s sake! THE HELL? Did I miss something in Zed 101? I guess she really was a government worker back in the day with them two-faced social skills (no offense to government workers who do actually have class). And I kinda liked her too.

THANK GAWD DALE IS STILL AROUND. The only person I truly like (read: that has fucking brains worth a shit in this group).

Rick's meltdown was good...though why did it take until now to show he had more than one emotion inside? Was he just too tired from chasing that wandering accent? Everyone else too, had a good show of emotions that I wish was apparent when the shows first started and we were getting to know them. I would've thought much better of the show and the actors than I have. I mean jeezuz, I've been more interested in Darryl and Merle all this time and that's a damn problem. But if yer gonna stick me with assholes then I'll at least stick with the ones with actual survival skills. OVERALL: A good solid episode that should have been the standard from the start.

Frank Darabont, work some magic with the new guys. When I saw you were willing to shoot the little girl zombie and take the horse down (despite riling all the PC bitches) I couldn't wait to see what you were gonna hit us with. What followed was a pale imitation of that fuck-it stance. Bring on Seasons 2's new writers. IT'S A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, START FUCKING SOME SHIT UP!

And I lied...I ran my mouth.

Review: Rise Again

2010-11-26T15:50:00.000-08:00

RISE AGAIN

By Ben Tripp

Review by Dread Socket

It was when I caught myself uttering the words "Ben Tripp can kiss my ass!" after he killed off a character I was really beginning to like that I realized I was in for the long haul. Seriously in. He crafted this person against all expectation and then the bastard killed him. Bad Ben, bad!

Ben Tripp's little bit of Deadlit nirvana, Rise Again, is an easy book for me to recommend. It harkens back to 2007, the Original Summer of Zed Love, when it wasn't unusual to have 2-3 books going at once while juggling Z films and comics. There were rare occasions when works rose to the top of the pile, distinguishing themselves from the horde and surprised the Hell out of me for being damn near exactly what I'd want in a Deadlit book. Not just pulp entertainment, but nearly perfect without feeling like I was settling (those fans who've waded through umpteenth zed variations to get to the type they prefer, you know exactly what I mean). To my surprise, Rise Again quickly became one of those rare finds.

I was initially put off by the publisher's description and assumed, yet again, we had another by-the-numbers-touchy feely-find-the-loved-one and try-not-to-get-eaten book. In this case, there was the added “edginess” of a female lead in what is usually a male role. It's been my (frequent) experience that when a book makes gender/orientation/(insert non-dominate group) switches from the “norm” it calls attention to itself, as if the mere fact it exists in the narrative isn't compelling enough. Usually the guilty party is a scribe who has no obvious affiliation with whatever group they're depicting and probably has no business attempting to speak with any authority for or about them, especially while using them as a plot device. [Editor’s note: Dread has enough soapboxes stored in his bunker to last until doomsday.]

In this case, Tripp was speaking from the place of an empowered ex-military woman struggling with community/civilian re-integration, functional alcoholism, and combat-related PTSD. That's a mighty steep cliff to climb, with an even more perilous fall if Tripp failed in his characterization. He didn’t. As it ended up, I could probably write a behavioral assessment and modification plan for Tripp's lead Danny. Her psyche profile, in all its intense shades, is revealed with so much depth that she becomes less a character and more an extension of the reader, faults and all. We empathize with her because we do in fact see her drive in us. We also see that her faulty thinking isn't that of the other person, but stuff we could possibly find ourselves contemplating if we were honest about it.

With Danny, Tripp gives us a highly flawed, yet sympathetic “heroine” (however reluctant). We want to curse her under our breath, as we would a friend for making certain decisions and sigh with relief when she escapes a crisis. Tripp holds her, as well as the rest of the characters, accountable for their actions which means there are no miracle saves for any of them adding authenticity and tension to their zed universe. Danny gets the shit kicked out of her more than once and she clearly acts like a dumbass at times. Hell, even the book's catalyst, Danny's search for her sister, is painted as a fool's errand almost from the start. Sentiment doesn’t bode well in their world. We zombie fans are notorious for complaining about not getting enough gritty, realistic zombie action. Tripp’s world cruel and unforgiving, so I must shut up and suck up the consequences (but he can still kiss my ass).

THE STORY: Danielle “Danny” Adelman is an Iraq combat veteran who's returned home and charged not only with continuing care for her younger sister, Kelley, but she’s also sheriff of the sleepy southern California town of Forest Peak. None of this works out particularly well for her. On the day she is to be honored and receive the key to the town, surrounded by throngs of gathered tourists and townsfolk, all Hell breaks loose.

The least of her immediate problems is that Kelley ran away leaving behind a cryptic farewell note. The worst is nearby Los Angeles, overrun by a mysterious infection that turns its victims into mindless, screaming banshees that literally run until they drop dead. The reach of this mysterious infection is expanding beyond the big cities and starting to touch the outlying townships. Freeways clog as people drop dead in their cars while oceans of humanity engulf the streets. The runners eventually trickle into Forest Peak and as the town succumbs, Danny and a group of other survivors band together to find a way out. They soon realize that those who've fallen will rise again (and we have a title! YAY!). And let me tell you, there’s some pretty creepy stuff going on here. The “spatula/cafe scene” comes to mind as one of the few narrative setups in any novel that genuinely grossed me out.

Danny’s group escapes to the desert in a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants exit that very well could've climaxed the book right there. Tripp handles action sequences skillfully enough that after its excitement, the desert sequence threatens to screech things to a halt. Luckily, Tripp takes the time to continue building his characters during this lull. Danny eventually sets off to find Kelly. Along the way the scope of this contagion is revealed, as are clues to her sister's whereabouts. Danny's journey takes her up the California coast and eventually lands her in the ashen city of San Francisco, with the realization that looking for her sister may not be the best idea after all.

I'm tempted to offer more insight into Tripp's handling of Danny's journey, but it would lead to even more spoilers. I'll leave potential readers to discover the varied twists and developments on their own. I wasn’t even sure what I thought of it all as it was developing, but its handling is one of the book’s strengths and reasons to read it. Another point that I am typically unyielding about is zombie types. Again, no spoilers, but with Tripp's crucial placement, I was willing to accept the touch he added.

Are there moments that threaten to get out of control? Ehh.... yea, probably depending on your suspension of disbelief and maybe even life experience, but I found it acceptable. There were a couple of points in the development of the desert survivors’ predicament that I found a little forced. That felt a little clumsy in the pacing when compared to Tripp’s thoroughness elsewhere. Otherwise, I was willing to roll with almost anything he did after the escape from Forest Peak. You certainly won’t see some hot babe on a motorcycle come crashing through a stained glass church window, perfectly timed to save a group that’s being attacked by mutated monsters (*ahem*RE2*cough*rolls eyes). Instead, Tripp confidently juggles all elements of zombie lore like a veteran and creates an immersive zombie experience that you'll want to revisit again… after you’ve caught your breath.

384 pages

Publisher: Gallery (Simon and Schuster)

Pub Date: October 26, 2010

ISBN-13: 978-1439165164

R.I.P. Ingrid Pitt

2010-11-26T10:04:00.000-08:00

INGRID PITT, a Hammer Films goddess, died on November 23rd, at the age of 73. She belongs in a class with Karen Black and Barbara Steele, old-school horror divas you don’t mess with unless you want to be beaten to death with cleavage and eye-fucked harder longer and faster than the TSA could ever imagine.

Along with the aforementioned ladies, Ingrid Pitt was one of the leaders of the emerging sexual revolution in horror films that didn't assume that all women were victims. One of her most famous roles was for Hammer Films as a lesbian vampiress.

It is interesting to note in her obit that she said she dreamed of becoming an actress while spending three years in a Nazi concentration camp.

The Walking Dead: Review Episode 4, "Vatos"

2010-11-25T06:57:00.000-08:00

LA DOLCE VATOS

By Dread Sockett

Since “predictable” is in the air these days, it won’t surprise you when I say I’ll (sorta) follow last week’s entry and drop dime with nerd rage first, then I’ll kiss and make it better. Cool?

Now that we’re starting to get into more serious character insight, I think it’s becoming evident that these episodes really need to be longer. Personally, I feel the short episode action is just not working and in fact I suspect it’s stifling the creators. There is just too much that needs to be communicated in the time allotted and it all ends up feeling rushed. It also bugs me because some of these shortcomings are going to eventually reflect poorly on KIRKMAN and his comics, which I honestly feel is almost tragic. AMC needs to hook this show up with more time, or slow the pace down, so the potential is reached. This also might relieve some of the cocked eyebrows the show is receiving because of these dense-ass characters and situations.

FIRST CASE IN POINT: I appreciated the intro sister chat between Amy and Andrea thinking “Yea, this is what I’ve been waiting for.” Here the characters can breathe and I can see there are people under these entitled and/or idiot facades. These semblances of attempted normalcy in this apocalyptic setting, while delivering insight into characters is sorely needed especially now that we’re two shows from the end of Season 1. I don’t care if they’re talking about fishing lures, just give me tidbits of their past/present and maybe I will understand and care, finally.

Then it occurred to me that well, this must mean one of them is gonna die. Not in the future, but NOW, this episode. There were just too many Hallmark reflections and tight camera angles happening all at once. It seemed to foreshadow one of their deaths per Hollywood Rules 101 (reflect on shared history and loss, then kill one leaving one left to carry the torch and there you have it: automatic character tragedy and sympathy). A classic cliché set-up. And BINGO! We had a winner. The good thing at least, like Carl’s tent comments in episode 3, this sets Andrea on her 2.0 path comic readers will be familiar with (hopefully).

THANK BEELZEBUB that Andrea (Laurie Holden) pulled off the final scene with just the right emotion that this sorta trite setup was mostly forgiven. It really was touching. It’s these little moments I look forward to finding while wading through the quagmire that sometimes surrounds them.

A minor quibble: easing up on them micro-zooms would help let the scenes like this breathe a little. A contrast between Andrea dealing with the urgency of her sister’s death and the camp attack crisis surrounding her simultaneously would’ve taken this up another notch. As it was, I caught myself thinking of OASIS OF THE ZOMBIES’ almost aggressively, intimate zooms and really, that’s not a good thing when Laurie Holden is working her shiz. And that she did. Kudos to her.

HOODRAT CAREPROVIDIN’ - CASE IN POINT 2: Okay, havin’ a little...err... teeny bit of insight into this particular set up (hoodrats moonlighting as careproviders, not the whole zombie apocalypse or hostage trading) I really appreciated seeing this attempted. The thought counted, at least a little in my book. However, the execution of the concept was clumsy, like someone from the outside looking in and maybe even romanticizing what some crazy gun exchange would look like, but never having met a thug except through MTV’s Cribs. And yes, I do realize it was a front. This was a script issue, not a matter of whether a reformed custodian could pull off a smoke screen. Just cuz you’re a custodian doesn’t mean you’re oblivious to your environment, it is usually the opposite.

What stood out like a sore thumb, was our Junior homie in the wife beater who gets clocked by Darryl. Like the later gangbanger scenes, there was a mix between shit delivery and bad lines that made this feel a little tilted. It’s most notable because Darryl at this point is becoming damn near one of the best developed characters in the show and he makes the baby boy hoodrat’s deficiencies in script and acting stand out. The poor actor kid was no match to any of the guys in those scenes.

Which brings me to the “negotiation” scenes: So like I said, I was real cool with the end of the world homies as caregivers idea, as I can see people I know doing just that. But at the same time, none of their gangster asses shoulda broke code THAT QUICK (fakin’ the funk or not). Having a spokesperson who would seems also as unlikely, but maybe this is a down South thing the creators were doing. Grandma swoopin’ in doesn’t excuse things either. I mean shit, you go there and have this “new take” on “minorities” but then make them too stupid to barricade the doors effectively against the elderlies during a shake-down for guns?!

The selling of this scene relied first and foremost on credibility. Here, it fell flat, feeling like Hollywood Gangster 101 (lotta 101’s this episode). There was little tension and it felt rushed. I’ll give Kirkman some swing on this since some of what I thought was needed to sell this set up was more authentic aggressiveness in the script/lines, which in turn, theoretically, woulda allowed for less wonkyass delivery. I mean, damn, I never thought I’d say it, but more cussing would’ve improved the believability factor. But all the real-ness came through via the swagger display only (I mean geez guy, I was ready to slap wardrobe if I saw someone bust out with a DICKIES and STACY ADAMS combo with waxed, razor pleats). This just felt like the suits came in and did some ‘clean-up’. “We want that urban thing Kirkman, but it needs to play to middle America.”

THAT SAID: This is where I would’ve liked the episode opened up in length, with this idea and group explored a little more. It not only would’ve been a refreshing change, but there was an intriguing social dynamic at work here. They darn sure had it together more than Rick’s group.

QUIBBLES AND BITCH: Uhm... so let’s bag on Glenn for a sec. Now you’re buddies just tried to save your ass, while risking theirs, from what they thought was a near-death situation. You obviously have insight to what’s happening with your abductors to know the Homeland-terror-level-alert has dropped. The least you coulda done when they came into the joint was get off your ass and look like this meant something and start explaining. But noooooooooo... let’s not ask too much. Side-effects of WoW withdrawal are a very ugly thing folks.

CAMP: Jim’s meltdown was a moving scene. I’m glad to see his character finally having some depth after not knowing WTF he was about all this time. However, I still think the camp people are mostly idiots. Shane and the bunch showing up like a mob to someone who is obviously having a PTSD issue (even before the reveal) was a bit sloppy. Shane obviously missed the behavior mod classes at work. Dale, I like a lot and is clearly the most sensible of the bunch. His “Faulkner watch” speech wasn’t all that deep, yet actually kinda poignant, but our mall babies just missed it entirely. Are there brains in them heads to eat? Gonna be some hungry zombies.

ED: HAHA. AWESOME. And last but not least: the writers need to beef up Rick a bit. He’s kinda becoming the least interesting character. I think we’re skating on thin ice when Darryl becomes the more interesting of the two. T-dog seems to be coming around too and I kinda like the dude. His original rooftop intro wasn’t all that flattering. He’s feeling more like a real person now and not some cutout. And all hail the extras who get eaten. We’d have no cast and no reason to rewind to see who the Hell that was who got munched, cuz ya know ya never saw their butts before.

Speaking of munchies... Is zombie junk food fattening? I suspect I’m gonna be sporting a paunch when this season ends. There’s a lot of “stuff” in these ingredients, but dammit, I just can’t stop watching it.

Review: The Mammoth Book of Zombie Apocalypse!

2010-11-21T14:55:00.000-08:00

The Mammoth Book of Zombie Apocalypse!

Review by DeadVida

I assumed this would be an anthology, and it is, but not in a traditional sense. I was expecting something straight-forward, offering apocalyptic tales by disparate voices, and while that is the case the framework actually holds together in a tight universe and offers a Rashomon effect of the end of the world.

The narrative starts with an email, which describes England’s current political state and the writer’s protest of the destruction of a church in South London. The church had been built by (a fictional) disciple of (the real) architect Nicholas Hawksmoor. Hawksmoor was responsible for designing and building churches all over London in the late 1600s-early 1700s. Modern theorists speculate about the possible Satanic or supernatural pattern these churches make when viewed on a map. When the ground near the church is excavated, something that had had a long standing prohibition, The Death is unleashed upon the world. It is suggested that this has happened before and that the Great Plague in the 1600s wasn’t actually bubonic plague, but zombies! I LOVED the mixing of fact and fiction here and also appreciated that exact answers are never provided because of the narrator’s view is all that we are ever given.

From there the story takes off and while this book will seem dated in ten years, I loved that the authors and editors used modern technology as a means for capturing the variety of individual experiences. Early on in the outbreak, we learn what is going on from emails, BMC (a fictional BBC-type company) internal memos, letters, interviews, medical reports, newspaper articles, voicemails, PDAs, and police reports. As the virus spreads and infrastructures collapse, documentations of experience shift to individuals instead of “official” sources. These include the diary of a 13-year-old girl (which seemed a tad too influenced by Anne Frank), Twitter chatter, texts, blog posts, pilot transcripts, uploaded video files, letters and more. There are some unreliable narrators, some nice twist endings, and even humor. Some of the stories are downright creepy and gruesome.

With about 20 contributors, this could have felt uneven, but it doesn’t and it held my rapt attention straight through. In the end you are left with questions, which is how it should be. The apocalypse shouldn’t be a tidy thing. Recommended!

Stephen Jones (Editor)

Paperback: 512 pages

Publisher: Running Press

Pub date: December 7, 2010

ISBN-13: 978-0762440016